I am married and a father to three kids and have a dog. But my road started in the northern part of Sweden where i was born. My parents where evangelicals preaching the word of God. We moved to a suburb to Stockholm after I turned 4 years old.
So from living in a safe setting in the middle of the nature where fishing, hunting and hiking where a essential part of everyday life. We moved to a place where the socioeconomic standard where low. Children with alcoholic parents,missing fathers and neglecting mothers.
My first contact with evil was when two- three people where murdered by knife and the apartment set on fire. They where the neighbors of my friend. I saw homes where children lived in total absence of moral guidance or comfort.
And contrary to the previous I also was subjected to morality of a better kind as I also went to a church where Jesus teachings lead the works of the congregation in for example building a hospital in Congo for women that have been raped. And members in the church that were fostering children from broken homes. As to name a few of the works of the congregation.
As I tried to make a understanding of my existence, building an identity and creating a worldview that was coherent. I got lost in a subjective and relative morality. I tried but failed over and over to keep a faith in the bible. And i could not follow the moral teachings of Jesus. But i kept coming back and leaving over and over again. Each time with a deeper understanding of the need of God then the son and know the holy spirit.
In the year of 2000 I went as a soldier to Kosovo and there I came in contact with war crimes and people filled with hate and vengeance towards the ethnic group of the enemy. Here i really understood the value that lie within forgiveness as a mean to progress and letting go of hurt and transgressions.
As I grew older I got interested in philosophy, psychology and theology. I read works of several philosophers but I found Doctor Carl Gustav Ljung especially captivating because of his search for the pleroma (wholeness) of the psyche by trying to understand the subconscious.
Hermeneutics played an important roll also because i grasped the need and importance of understanding history when a more truthful understanding of something or someone is to be made.
Corpus hermeticum was also a book that stood out from the others and i found that the dialog between Asclepious and Hermes about what force is the greatest the one that stuck with me. It was about that which is lesser in visibility correlates with higher potency. “That which moves the mover that move the stone”.
“Thus spoke Zharatustra” from Friederich Nietsche was also interesting and had a total opposite effect on me though it made God alive and more important in my life. Because of the depraving affects that secular subjective relativistic morals have had upon men and societies thru the history of mankind. As man sets himself in the place of God. And the absurdity in the annihilation of absolutes due to nihilism. Which is the biggest bringer of meaninglessness to a persons life that i ever found. But paradoxically also the start of a true necessary search for meaning to for the person.
“Everlasting man” from G.K Chesterton also had a big impact on me. As I read I understood the value and reality of Jesus as a model for man to transform towards.We can see the empiric effects Jesus have had in changing criminals and drug addicts into law abiding sober citizens as to name a few of the plenty. I found an immense amount of value and wisdom that were to be found in the bible and the effect it has had on so many societies, thinkers and searchers.
I started to write a lot and asking questions that lead me to a point were I had to get my reflections out somehow. And here I am now.